200+ Funny Shayari in English – Best Jokes & Hilarious Lines

Welcome to 200+ Funny Shayari in English – Best Jokes & Hilarious Lines, a perfect place for laughter lovers. These funny shayari lines are written in simple English with witty humor and comic touch.Each line is designed to bring smiles, fun vibes, and instant mood refreshment.

From sarcastic jokes to light-hearted comedy shayari, this collection has it all.
Perfect for sharing with friends, social media captions, or stress relief moments.
Enjoy the best humorous lines, funny jokes, and laughter-filled shayari in one place. 😄

Top Funny Shayari In English Full Of Laughter

• My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
  
• I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.
  
• My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  
• I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than other people.
  
• My room is not messy, it’s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.
  
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads.
  
• My bank account is like a comedy show, always full of surprises and zero balance.
  
• I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
  
• My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just the comedy.
  
• I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop making me angry.
  
• My phone battery lasts longer than my attention span.
  
• I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a very committed relationship.
  
• My cooking is so awesome, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.
  
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  
• My diet plan: make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get, the thinner I look.
  

Best Comedy Shayari In English

• Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork and sharing knowledge.
  
• My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you, it means your level of stupidity has rendered me speechless.
  
• I’m not saying I’m Batman, I’m just saying nobody has ever seen me and Batman in the same room together.
  
• My six pack is protected by a layer of fat for safety purposes.
  
• Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most never use it.
  
• I’m not weird, I’m limited edition and highly valuable.
  
• My brain has too many tabs open and some are frozen.
  
• I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font style.
  
• Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
  
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just waiting to see if you’re dumb enough to talk again.
  
• My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
  
• I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for something important that may never happen.
  
• My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
  
• I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.
  
• My computer is like my brain, too many tabs open and half of them are not responding.
  

Laugh With Funny Shayari In Roman English

• Padhai likhai se dosti nahi, ye dil WhatsApp ka deewana hai.
  
• Subah uthne ki koshish karta hun, par neend kehti hai abhi 5 minute aur.
  
• Gym jaane ka socha tha, par sofa ne kaha tujhe meri kasam mat ja.
  
• Diet shuru kiya tha kal se, aaj pakode dekh ke sab bhool gaya.
  
• Selfie lene mein itna time lagta hai, wajah maloom hai, meri shakal itni pyari hai.
  
• Exam se ek din pehle, poori kitab mera best friend lagti hai.
  
• WiFi ki speed itni slow hai, jaise saas bahu serial chal raha ho.
  
• Alarm bajta hai 10 baar, lekin utha hu ab tak nahi.
  
• Monday se nafrat hai, but salary date se pyaar hai.
  
• Mummy ne daanta aur main haan haan karta raha, dimag mein Netflix chal raha tha.
  
• Gharwale kehte hain phone chod do, jaise oxygen chod dun.
  
• Dost ne party di promise, ab tak yaad nahi aaya usko.
  
• Barish mein romance nahi, sirf bukhar aur cold hota hai.
  
• Subah exercise karunga socha, shaam tak sofa pe hi raha.
  
• Padhai karte waqt neend kyu aati hai, ye science abhi tak samjha nahi payi.
  

Funny Love Shayari In English

• You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it because I’m too lazy to get it back.
  
• I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot because I really love pizza.
  
• You’re the reason I check my phone every five seconds and smile like an idiot.
  
• I love you even when I’m hungry, and that’s true love right there.
  
• You’re like my favorite song on repeat, annoying but I can’t stop.
  
• My love for you is like my phone battery, it drains quickly but charges back instantly.
  
• You’re the WiFi to my internet, without you I’m completely useless.
  
• I love you more than I love my bed, and trust me that’s a big deal.
  
• You make my heart skip a beat, or maybe that’s just my irregular heartbeat.
  
• I fell for you like I fall for online shopping discounts, quickly and without thinking.
  
• You’re my favorite notification, even better than a salary credit alert.
  
• Loving you is easy, like ordering food online at 2 AM.
  
• You’re the reason I smile at my phone and people think I’m crazy.
  
• I’d choose you over sleep, and that says everything about my feelings.
  
• You’re like my charger, I can’t function properly without you nearby.
  

Funny Hindi Shayari In English

• Rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagte hain, naam hai Shahenshah, samjhe.
  
• Mummy ke haath ka khana yaad aata hai jab hostel ka mess dekho.
  
• Papa ki daant sunke lagta hai main duniya ka sabse bada criminal hun.
  
• Bhai behen ki ladai ho, mummy hamesha behen ka side leti hai.
  
• Dadi maa ki kahaniya sunke lagta tha wo superhero thi apne zamane mein.
  
• Chacha ne pucha beta kya karega bade hoke, maine kaha sone doge to bataun.
  
• Mausi ne meethai di lekin lecture bhi de diya free mein.
  
• Padosi aunty ki nazar meri bike pe hai, unki beti pe nahi.
  
• Sharma ji ka beta fir top kar gaya, meri to izzat hi nahi rahi ghar mein.
  
• Rickshaw wale bhaiya se rate kam karwana, ye bhi ek kala hai.
  
• Golgappe khane ka maza tab hai jab paani extra teekha ho.
  
• Traffic mein fasa hun, lekin gaali dena mana hai ye bhi koi baat hui.
  
• Barber ne baal kaate aur bola kaise hain, maine kaha perfect jaise hamesha kharab hote hain.
  
• Train mein safar karo to do ghante mein poora life story pata chal jati hai.
  
• Chai tapri pe discussion se country ki problems solve hoti hain roz.
  

Funny Jokes Shayari

• A book fell on my head, I only have my shelf to blame.
  
• I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure about it.
  
• I’m reading a book on anti gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
  
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.
  
• I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
  
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients for it.
  
• I’m friends with all electricians, we have great current connections.
  
• I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
  
• I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it immediately.
  
• Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana, makes total sense.
  
• I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist the opportunity completely.
  
• I’m reading a horror story in Braille, something bad is about to happen I can feel it.
  
• I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands like everyone else.
  
• I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger, then it hit me hard.
  
• I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
  

Majak Hasane Wali Shayari

• Doctor ne kaha exercise karo, maine kaha remote dhundne mein bahut exercise ho jati hai.
  
• Wife ne poocha kya soch rahe ho, maine kaha tumhe hi to, jhoot bolna bhi zaruri hai kabhi kabhi.
  
• Boss ne kaha office time pe aao, maine kaha traffic dekha hai aapne kabhi.
  
• Dost ne loan manga, maine block kar diya usko seedha.
  
• Shaadi mein khana free hai, to main char baar plate leke gaya.
  
• Salesman ne kaha limited stock hai, maine kaha kal bhi yahi bola tha tune.
  
• Relative ne kaha beta mota ho gaya, maine kaha aunty aap bhi to.
  
• Mosquito ne kaata aur main uski family ko dhundne laga badla lene.
  
• AC chalane ka bill aaya to ghar walon ne mujhe ghar se nikalne ki soch li.
  
• Parking mein jagah nahi mili, to maine double parking kar di aur bhag gaya.
  
• Cricket match dekh raha tha, wife ne TV band kar ke serial laga diya, divorce ka socha uss pal.
  
• Dhaba pe khana khaane ka maza hi alag hai, chahe pet kharab ho jaaye.
  
• Baraat mein nachne ka shauk hai, chahe koi dekhe ya na dekhe.
  
• Bacchon ne school project diya, maine Google se copy paste kar diya raat bhar.
  
• Petrol pump pe paise khatam ho gaye, attendant ki shakal dekhi to dar lag gaya.
  

2 Line Funny Jokes Shayari

• My teacher pointed at me with a ruler and said there’s an idiot at the end of this ruler, I asked which end and got detention for a week.
  
• I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up, I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out after all.
  
• I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places, He told me to stop going to those places immediately.
  
• My boss told me to have a good day, So I went home and had the best nap ever.
  
• I’m not saying my wife is a bad cook, But our garbage disposal has developed PTSD from her experiments.
  
• I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia, She whispered they’re right behind you watching your every move.
  
• My girlfriend said I never listen to her, At least I think that’s what she said, I wasn’t really paying attention.
  
• I told my suitcase there will be no holiday this year, Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage on top of everything.
  
• I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me, Now I’m quite attached to my beard literally.
  
• I went to buy some camouflage pants but couldn’t find any, The salesperson said they were right there but I still couldn’t see them.
  
• My friend said onions are the only food that makes you cry, So I threw a coconut at his face to prove him wrong.
  
• I told my computer I needed a break, It’s been giving me nothing but errors and the silent treatment since.
  
• Someone stole my mood ring and I don’t know how to feel about it, The irony is not lost on me at all.
  
• I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, But good players are really hard to find these days.
  
• I hate Russian dolls because they’re so full of themselves, One inside another, talk about narcissistic tendencies.
  

Funny Poetry in Urdu English 2 lines

• Dil toot gaya tha pyaar mein, phir dekha ATM mein balance zero tha, Wo to chala gaya lekin paise bhi saath le gaya.
  
• Raat ko neend nahi aayi socha ishq ho gaya, Subah pata chala zyada chai pi li thi.
  
• Shayar ban ne ka shauk tha, diary kharidi pen kharida, Likha kuch nahi bas do saal se drawer mein pada hai.
  
• Gym join kiya New Year pe, January khatam hote hi membership bhi, Ab wo card sirf wallet mein showpiece ban ke pada hai.
  
• Dost ne kaha diet shuru kar, maine kaha kal se pakka, Do saal ho gaye kal abhi tak aaya nahi.
  
• Barish mein bheegne ka mann kiya romantic lagega, Ek minute baad bukhar aur sardi se romantic gayab.
  
• Selfie lene mein expert hun, 50 photos mein se ek theek aati hai, Baaki 49 delete kar deta hun koi dekh na le.
  
• Office mein kaam karne aata hun lekin karta social media scroll hun, Boss aaye to laptop screen badal deta hun expert hun is mein.
  
• Pyaar mohabbat sab bakwas hai, asli pyaar to biryani se hai, Wo kabhi dil nahi todti bas pet bhardeti hai.
  
• Shakespeare ban ne ka sapna tha, English mein shayari likhna tha, Autocorrect ne sab barbaad kar diya ab emoji bhejta hun.
  

Short Joke Wali Shayari

• Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink wine.
  
• I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything already.
  
• My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle, information goes in and never found again.
  
• I’m not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead.
  
• Friday is my second favorite F word, food is obviously the first.
  
• I don’t have a bucket list but my internet history sure does.
  
• My alone time is for everyone’s safety, trust me on this one.
  
• I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas than everyone else.
  
• Wine pairs well with anything including more wine obviously.
  
• I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle racing champion.
  
• My prince charming got lost, took a wrong turn, still waiting.
  
• Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate just understands me completely.
  
• I’m not short tempered, I just have a quick reaction to stupidity.
  
• Karma’s just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink, she’ll be with you shortly.
  
• My bed is a magical place where suddenly I remember everything I was supposed to do.
  
• I run on coffee, sarcasm and inappropriate thoughts all day long.
  
• I’m not always right but I’m never wrong in my own mind.
  
• Namaste in bed all day sounds like perfect life goals honestly.
  
• I whisper because I just finished yelling and my voice needs rest.
  
• I’m silently correcting your grammar in my head right now.
  

Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

• I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately explaining why I’m absolutely correct about this.
  
• Age is just a number, in my case a really high score nobody asked for.
  
• I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every single morning.
  
• My wallet is like an onion, every time I open it I want to cry.
  
• I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy saving mode for future adventures.
  
• Life is short, smile while you still have teeth left in your mouth.
  
• I don’t have grey hair, I have wisdom highlights that come with age.
  
• Common sense is not a gift, it’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
  
• I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition collectible that’s highly valuable.
  
• My bed and I are in a committed relationship, but alarm clock is the annoying third wheel.
  
• I talk to myself because I need expert advice from someone intelligent.
  
• Reality called so I hung up the phone immediately without hesitation.
  
• I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and eat it without any second thoughts.
  
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity in this world.
  
• I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge every single time.
  
• I don’t need anger management classes, people just need to stop making me angry.
  
• I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome in a smaller package.
  
• My brain has too many tabs open and half of them are frozen completely.
  
• Exercise? I thought you said extra fries, my hearing must be selective.
  
• I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me and furniture attacks me.
  
• I put my phone in airplane mode but it’s still not flying anywhere.
  
• Some people are like clouds, when they disappear it’s a beautiful day.
  
• I’m not saying I’m Batman, but has anyone seen us together ever.
  
• I don’t trip over things, I do spontaneous gravity checks randomly.
  
• I need a six month holiday twice a year to function properly.
  
• I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you with brutal honesty.
  
• I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem clearly.
  
• My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch.
  
• I’m not addicted to reading, I can quit as soon as I finish this chapter, maybe.
  
• Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning, I want you back tonight.
  
• I tried being normal once, worst two minutes of my entire life honestly.
  
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m doing a side quest before the main mission.
  
• My housekeeping style is best described as there appears to have been a struggle.
  
• I don’t sweat, I sparkle like a beautiful diamond in the sun.
  
• I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized in ways you don’t understand.
  
• When life gives you lemons, make sure vodka is also provided somehow.
  
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my peace over your nonsense.
  
• I don’t need therapy, I just need a vacation to a remote island.
  
• I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social with people I actually like.
  
• My check engine light has been on for three years, the engine is still working fine.
  
• I’m not a control freak but you’re doing it wrong let me show you.
  
• I don’t make mistakes, I date them and learn valuable life lessons.
  
• I speak fluent sarcasm, it’s my second language after common sense.
  
• I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m sleeping peacefully without a care.
  
• My six pack is safely protected by a layer of fat for security purposes.
  
• I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours obviously.
  
• I don’t have time to hate people, I’m too busy loving pizza.
  
• I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing right now.
  
• My life feels like a test I didn’t study for and don’t understand.
  
• I’m not negative, I’m just allergic to stupidity and it’s allergy season.
  
• I don’t snore, I purr like a majestic lion all night long.
  
• I’m not aging, I’m marinating and getting better with time.
  
• I don’t need a Valentine, I need a million dollars instead.
  
• I’m not always late, everyone else is just annoyingly early.
  
• I don’t have road rage, I have a strong suggestion delivery system.
  
• I’m not hangry, I’m just aggressively awaiting my next meal.
  
• I don’t need luck, I need coffee and WiFi to survive daily.
  
• I’m not dramatic, I’m passionately expressive about everything I care about.
  
• I don’t lose things, they get misplaced by mysterious invisible forces.
  
• I’m not hoarding, I’m collecting memories in physical form forever.
  
• I don’t need motivation, I need someone to do it for me please.
  
• I’m not overthinking, I’m doing thought research extensively before deciding anything important.
  

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Funny Shayari in English?

Funny Shayari in English is humorous poetry written in simple English that makes people laugh and enjoy light-hearted moments.

Why is Funny Shayari so popular?

It is popular because it mixes jokes, sarcasm, and relatable humor that everyone can understand and share easily.

Where can I use Funny Shayari in English?

You can use it on social media, WhatsApp statuses, captions, or to entertain friends and family.

Is Funny Shayari suitable for all ages?

Yes, most Funny Shayari is clean, playful, and suitable for readers of all age groups.

Can Funny Shayari help reduce stress?

Absolutely! Reading funny shayari brings laughter, relaxes the mind, and improves mood instantly.

What makes Funny Shayari different from jokes?

Funny Shayari adds rhythm and poetic style to jokes, making humor more creative and memorable.

Can I share Funny Shayari on social media?

Yes, it is perfect for Instagram captions, Facebook posts, memes, and WhatsApp forwards.

Are there short Funny Shayari lines available?

Yes, many Funny Shayari are short, crisp, and ideal for quick laughs and voice searches.

Who enjoys Funny Shayari the most?

Anyone who loves humor, comedy lines, and witty poetry enjoys Funny Shayari in English.

How often should I read Funny Shayari?

Anytime you need laughter, positivity, or a fun break from routine, Funny Shayari is a great choice. 😄

Conclusion

200+ Funny Shayari in English – Best Jokes & Hilarious Lines is a perfect dose of laughter and positivity.
These humorous shayari lines are written in simple English to make every reader smile.
From witty jokes to light comedy poetry, this collection keeps the mood fun and fresh.

Whether you want stress relief, entertainment, or shareable content, this funny shayari list has it all.
Perfect for friends, social media posts, and daily laughter moments.
Keep smiling and enjoy the best funny lines, jokes, and hilarious shayari anytime. 😄

Read More: 300+ Top Dosti Shayari English – Best Friendship Lines